I’ve mentioned a couple of times that I have really bad nightmares. They seem to have upped the ante this week — terrible morning nightmares on a daily basis, and once I woke up about to scream from a nightmare that I also had trouble shaking off and which combined the fantastic and nonsensical with a very real-feeling storyline about me owing someone I knew in school 1,500€ I’d stolen from her bank account three years prior to buy a laptop. Full disclosure: I’ve never stolen money from anyone, thank you very much. But the nightmare was set within the confines of my life and it poked my money worries, so it felt grounded and perfectly plausible. Fun.
In a way it’s just keeping the balance, as usual. Take this with a grain of salt and as the baseless conjecture it very much is, but I suspect my nightmares are just the backdoor my anxiety comes out through when my antidepressants lock the front door. So the more stable I feel when awake, the worse the nightmares are.
Obviously this involves feeling stable despite having loads of things weighing on me; my mornings would probably be nightmare-free if I — well, if I didn’t sleep through them, for one, but also if I were caught up on all outstanding orders and not worried about covering the cost of my Indiegogo campaign rewards with $100 to my name and no source of income. This is, by the way, why you should sponsor me/buy prints and cards and phone cases from me/hire me as a graphic designer/proofreader/photographer/pre-order things from my collection/otherwise contribute to my bank balance. That and because I’m an awesome photographer/model/designer/editor and you need me and my greatness in your life.
Speaking of my greatness, I’m vaguely sort of working on a portfolio, and by vaguely sort of I mean I installed WordPress and a free theme I liked and I haven’t touched it since. I’m having trouble deciding how I want to organize it — my tree of work goes sort of like this:
available as prints, cards, phone cases
— Fine Art
— — Nature
— — Travel
— — Abstract
— — People
— — Product Only, Neutral Background
— — Product Only, Styled Setup
— — Modeled, Neutral Background
— — Modeled, Editorial Style
— — ??? Children/teen/adult? Fashion/party/something else?
— — Headers and banners
— — Advertising buttons
— — Misc. Graphics
— — Logo design
— — Business card design
— — Label design
— — Lookbook design
— — Typography prints
— — Posters and flyers
PHOTOGRAPHY + GRAPHIC DESIGN overlap in branding packages including product photography and other design.
Then PHOTOGRAPHY overlaps with FASHION DESIGN in my photo-printed collection, which is a whole other can of worms and probably really needs to have its own portfolio, but at the same time, it’s photo-printed. So there’s a clear connection to my photography there. Not to mention my product photography… and it would be fun to design my own lookbook as well.
The problem with the photography services is that I still don’t know how to market myself locally and I can’t bring myself to figure it out because I hate this town and to be completely honest I kind of hate my entire country, which brings us to another thing that’s been present on my mind lately: wanting to move to the UK.
My best friend and I have been talking about seriously moving to the UK for a good year or two, and the longer we put it off, the more I want to do it. We were thinking about last summer after she graduated from college, but that didn’t happen, and now she’s quitting her Masters program, which surprises no one seeing as she only started it for something to do. Our number one problem is, expectedly, money: neither of us has a steady source of income and I’m not the kind of person who can grab a backpack and move country without financial security, which I currently define as enough of a buffer to cover our plane tickets and three months of rent and living expenses. Our ideal place to move to is London, but that’s expensive as shit, but also I feel like that makes it the perfect place to shoot for in terms of savings.
The point is, we need advice, and we need tips, and we need knowledge. So we’re thinking of putting together a questionnaire and asking people who have moved to England or Scotland from another country or to London from anywhere to fill it in with their answers. Some questions will be pretty intrusive (finances) and some will be pretty shameless (contacts and couches) but they will all be totally optional. Would you guys help me out with this? Filling it out if you qualify and/or pointing me in the direction of people who do?
Besides that, for a little while now I’ve been thinking about doing another crowdfunding campaign when I’m done with my rewards from the last one and my portfolio’s set up. This time it would be fixed funding, meaning I’d only get the money if I met my goal, and the rewards would largely be comprised of photo shoots to be done in the UK. Portraiture, outdoor weddings, that sort of thing. Maybe photography workshops as well! It sounds kind of crazy and it probably is but I can’t get the idea out of my head. If I were to do that, I’d also definitely need your help promoting the campaign and hooking me/us up with people who might be interested in hiring a photographer (or a model, for that matter) for like, March 2014 or after.