There’s one goal I had for November that I’ve managed to stick with consistently: journaling on a paper notebook. The day or two I’ve missed, I made up for a day or two later, and I chronicled those days on another (personal, private) online platform anyway.
Last week, I said I was starting a gratitude project of sorts, and attaching that to my journaling habit. I’ve yet to post about it, or make a vlog like I intended, but I’ve kept up the lists of things that made me happy. I’ve had the best week I’ve had in ages, and I don’t think it had anything to do with the gratitude thing; actually, I think good things happening made it easier for me to write down what had made me happy instead of wallow in despair. But it’s encouraging regardless, isn’t it? I thought I’d end up listing the same generic shit every day, and instead I’ve found myself coming up with specific moments, and specific reasons for including the usual suspects (my mom, my best friend, fandom, that sort of thing) on my lists.
The truth is the week was better on paper than it was inside my head, but I still had little happy moments, like dancing around my room on Saturday night tidying everything and twirling and stretching and then going back on my laptop to find a notification of a media kit sale. That made me really, really happy. And I got to see the Christmas lights along Piccadilly and Regent Street on Friday, which also made me happy. I got to pay rent the Thursday before it was due, which was a major relief, even if my brain quickly seized the opportunity to start stressing about something else instead.
My brain is my worst enemy. For the past two months I’ve been thinking I’d be okay when I was no longer drowning financially, and that’s sort of true now, true enough that I’m paralyzed by stress and overwhelm from my workload instead.
But I’m trying, I’m trying. I’m trying so hard and I’m starting to see results. I was just looking at last week’s goals and they were:
This week, I would like to:
That should keep me well busy and, hopefully, motivated enough to accomplish it. Motivation and time management are my biggest weaknesses. Along with my brain which is my worst enemy, as stated above. But I need to get my head above water and getting organized is one of the most helpful ways I’ve found to do it.
What are your plans for the week?