A great question, self! Or not so much, geographically speaking. My next-to-last post was written on a window seat in the eastern aisle at the Victoria & Albert Museum; I told my friend to go walk around as I already have plenty of photos of the outside of the Natural History Museum, and sat down to try and make some cash. A few days later I went home and that was that.
In late December, I got my room back. In January, I adapted to it, which took longer than expected due to a bout of depression. And while I’m always open to photography gigs anywhere, provided travel expenses are paid, other than that I’m staying put for at least nine months, one of which has passed, another one of which is passing terribly quickly, goddamn, February, why are you this way, and I’m trying to get a goddamn grip.
It’s clearly not the easiest.
There’s a lot of photos — some edited, some not. Last year I traveled a lot, trying to get away from sharing a room with my sister. I visited three times as many countries in six months as I had in the previous 26 years. I turned 27 on a flight from Lisbon to London. I had some more duck. I had avocado. I had pheasant. I did a boudoir shoot. In July, in one week, I did five portrait shoots. In September, I real-life-met a friend I’d met online ten years ago, and did her engagement shoot at Zwarte Haan. I went to Paris because it was the cheapest way to get home.
I’ve alienated a lot of people, too. I’m learning to learn what I can and move on.
I designed a resume and had it adapted — loosely — to Word for an agency; it was interesting trying to get it to look good in an application I very rarely use, and a good experience really working with a team there and letting them interpret. I like what they came up with.
I updated my media kit, and I’m finishing up a client’s from a long time ago. I have a few other things I owe. A lot of things. My parents are off unemployment benefits and that’s one of the reasons I went into a deep depression last month. I’m 27 but I’m not ready. I’m not good enough. I do good work but — I do it so sporadically, I take so long, I’m so unreliable. Of course I know these things. Of course I’m working on them. Of course they hurt all along.
But I’ve always loved this blog. I love showing off my work; I love the opportunities; I love the design and the honesty I’m able to promote. I’ve long wanted to be consistent and failed but maybe I just need to restructure my schedule a little bit, not do more but do better.
Not do more but do better all around.
It’s another way of protecting myself, and I made that my phrase of the year for a reason.